I’m a younger black girl and I don’t have lots of black mates.
It’s nearly embarrassing and shameful to confess, and it’s develop into one thing extra problematic as I’ve gotten older. It’s additionally been one thing, in recent times, that’s been each a rising want and an space of discontent for me as effectively.
I’ve privately envied different younger black ladies who’ve a detailed circle of ride-or-die girlfriends, a good skilled circle and community of those that seem like them, and a gaggle of individuals they will relate to on so many ranges. I’ve had moments once I want I might have chosen to attend an HBCU for undergrad and acquired to go to homecomings and step exhibits and expertise all of the trimmings of wealthy black tradition, historical past, and schooling as a substitute of attending a personal faculty.
Nearly all of my mates are white or different ethnicities that aren’t black, and whereas I do love and recognize all of them, they will’t relate to among the issues I expertise each privately and publicly as a younger black girl. A few of them have been nice listeners however they nonetheless can’t totally grasp what it’s like for me residing and respiratory on this pores and skin. I’m discovering that as I’m getting older, and because the world appears to be spiraling in an typically non-progressive route, I want to attach with extra women and men who seem like me, that may relate to my plight and struggles and challenges as a younger black girl shifting by way of this world.
And never simply the world as we now realize it, but in addition the world of the office, the world of relationship, and future worlds I anticipate exploring.
I’ve all the time been that one black woman in a sea of non-black areas and faces. At college, in several neighborhoods rising up, within the workplace, or at numerous social gatherings, that’s been brazenly and jokingly known as the “white black woman” or “bougie black woman” by totally different teams of each white and black individuals, and truthfully, there have been instances when being referenced by these titles harm. Particularly after they got here out of the mouths of individuals I’ve been effectively acquainted with.
Additionally, listening to issues like, “Nicely, , you’re not like most black women” or “You act white” or “Are you blended?” or listening to “Perhaps you’re simply taking issues too personally…” when enduring a second of racism or prejudice or what can really feel like an countless quantity of microaggressions ultimately takes a toll when I’ve no inside circle of black girlfriends or man mates to course of this stuff with.
I want extra black mates.
Positive, I’ve had a number of informal black mates right here and there, however not too many relationships that had been deeply grounded in solidarity.
I want extra black mates who perceive what it’s wish to exist within the one-foot-in and one-foot-out world of co-existing in several environments the place there should not lots of people who seem like us within the room. I want extra black mates who I can cry with and pour my coronary heart out to once I expertise a second of racism or prejudice and get dismissed and informed, “Don’t take issues too personally.” I want extra black girlfriends who perceive the world of getting pure black hair and experimenting with sew-ins, crochets, protecting types, and pure hair care merchandise. I additionally want extra black girlfriends I can gush freely with with regards to displaying love, appreciation, and our needs for connecting, relationship, and falling in love with sturdy, sensible, profitable black males. I want extra black mates who’re open to exploring totally different artwork, cultures, environments, and actions outdoors of the world of black tradition. I want extra black mates who will embrace me as I’m vs. prejudging me as bougie or counting me out as a result of I don’t have as a lot street-cred as they could have. We could have totally different backgrounds and experiences, however I’m nonetheless woke. Belief.
And I want extra black mates who simply get what it’s like being black.
God is aware of I’m grateful for the buddies I do have from all totally different races and backgrounds, however I acknowledge the significance and necessity of being black and needing extra black mates. It’s a must to have individuals in your life who get who you might be, get the place you’re coming from, and get the place you’re attempting to go.